Alone
by sharp039
Summary: Rose struggles to deal with Dimitri's rejection, but it soon becomes clear that he regrets it. However, it'll take a lot for Rose to forgive him, and even more to take him back. Please read and review!
1. Changes

The words echoed in Rose's head, bouncing in her mind just as they did on the church walls.

 _Love fades, mine has._

Rose ran her hands through her long hair, before deciding to tie it up into a loose bun, which was easy to run in. She donned a waterproof jacket and set out at her usual pace, her breathing getting more laboured as she ran faster. This was a part of her routine she never missed, and she found that as long as her music was loud enough and her footsteps hard enough, she couldn't hear his words for a short time.

She hated him. She truly, genuinely believed that she hated him and all he had said to her. While others knew this wasn't true, Rose believed that no one could possibly hurt her as much as he did that day, and vowed to herself that no one would get close enough _to_ hurt her. She said to everyone that she was fine, and most people believed her, thinking that she had truly moved on. However, every once in a while, she would get a faraway look in her eyes and her friends would know that some days, it was all she could do to not beg Dimitri to take her back.

During those days, Lissa would try her best to comfort her friend, knowing how hard it was for both Rose and Dimitri, but Rose continually shut her out. Despite the bond, it was difficult to talk about Dimitri to her, with the knowledge that he probably talks to her about Rose prominent in her mind. Surprisingly, the only one Rose could stand to be around on those days was Christian, taking solace in his easy company and comfortable silences.

Today was another bad day for Rose. She'd been having them more and more lately, much to Christian's concern, but tried her best to hide it. On her run, she waved to a few of the present guardians, maintaining her pace so none would try to stop and talk to her. Eddie saw her and she slowed down, knowing she wouldn't be able to warn him off so easily.

"Rose." he called, expecting her to stop running.

She internally sighed and plastered a smile on her face. "Eddie! How're you doing?"

"Better than you, it looks like." he said, searching her face. "When was the last time you had a good night's sleep?"

She knew she couldn't lie to him, and shrugged and replied, "A while."

The concern in his eyes was clear, and he pulled her into an unexpected hug. She leaned into him, grateful for the strong, silent friendship he always provided her. "I'm here. Always."

She pulled away and simply said, "I know."

With the promise of meeting up later, he let her continue her run, but Rose detoured to her room, no longer in the mood. She showered, washing her hair with the shampoo she knew Dimitri loved so much. She'd tried to stop using it, knowing it only served as a reminder of _him_ , but in the end, found it too difficult to part with.

She blow dried and neatly styled her hair, ready to head out, when she caught her own eye in the mirror. They were dark and depthless, set deep in her face, making her look almost alien like. Gone was the spark that she was known for, replaced with a stoic hardness that was rarely seen in people her age. Her hair fell forward into her face and she pushed in back irritably, reminded of the many occasions on which Dimitri had done so, with love in his eyes. Her mind went back to a particular time in training, where he had told her to never cut her hair.

Suddenly, she hated her hair. She hated it so much because he used to love it. She hated it because it was a reminder of something she knows can never happen again. Never again would he tuck a stray strand behind her ear, smiling as he does it. Never again would he stroke it as she fell asleep, feeling safe in the comfort of his arms. Never again.

With tears in her eyes, she reached for the scissors in her bathroom cabinet. Before she could talk herself out of it, she cut the low ponytail she had put her hair into off. Her hair fell loose around her, much shorter than what it was. It fell to her chin, framing her face and making her look much older. Rose bitterly thought that she finally looked the age she felt, already weary with life. After evening it out and taking one final look, she cleaned up the masses of hair around her and, emotionless, threw it in the bin. She thought of how it was symbolic to what Dimtri did to her.

* * *

Lissa, Christian and Dimitri were all sitting together, eating dinner. Rose walked up to them, shoulders hunched, but eyes aware, scanning the surroundings. As ever, Lissa saw her first, but her gasp caused the two men to turn around. Rose kept her eyes ahead, not wanting to see their reactions to her impromptu haircut. Christian slid over to make room for her in between him and Lissa, knowing she wouldn't want to sit next to Dimitri.

Lissa stared, open mouthed in surprise. "Damn, Liss. I didn't think it looked that bad." Rose murmured, lightness in her voice that only few could tell was faked.

Lissa was quick to reassure her. "No, Rose, not at all! It looks lovely, it's just... a surprise. You used to love your long hair."

Rose barked out a short, bitter laugh. "Haven't you heard, Liss? Love fades." she said, echoing the words that had been in her mind every waking moment.

She heard a small intake of breath from where Dimitri was sitting, but luckily, Christian came to her rescue. "I think it looks great, Rose. At least now you can't make me try and braid it again." he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Rose smiled a genuine smile at him for his efforts. "Hey, you can still try, if you really want to. It's not that short."

"You'd have to kill me first." he replied, happy with her typical Rose response.

Dimitri was silent throughout this exchange. Rose caught his eye for the first time that day, and what she saw there made her gasp.

Pain. The pain in his eyes was tangible, so intense Rose almost felt it herself. They were glazed over, searching her own eyes for an answer.

Rose abruptly stood up, and Christian and Lissa's talking ceased. She ignored their concerns and walked away from the table, the words once again screaming in her head.

It was as if he almost cared.

* * *

There was a gentle knock on her door, and Rose stood up in irritation, unwilling to talk to anyone. As she opened the door, she said, "What do you want? I'm very bus-". She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Dimitri, leaning his tall frame against her door. She kept her face blank and inquired again, "Yes?"

"May I come in?" he asked, every bit as emotionless as her.

Rose stepped aside and let him walk past, and shut the door. They both stood.

"Is Lissa okay?" Rose asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, the princess is fine." he replied, before an awkward silence.

Rose raised her eyebrows. "Did you come here to stand in my room or did you have anything to say?"

Dimitri blurted out, "Why did you cut your hair?". Rose was surprised. In all the time she had known him, she'd never heard him blurt anything out, always choosing his words carefully.

"I wanted a change. Besides, it was just getting in the way."

Dimitri looked pained and took a step forward and reached out, as if to touch her hair. Rose stepped back.

"Was that all?" Rose asked in a deadpan voice.

"You look different. And not just because of the hair. You look... changed. Sadder. Are you sleeping?" he said, gently.

"Maybe I am different. Maybe I am sadder. You sure as hell don't get to care anymore." Rose replied, her voice wavering at the harsh words.

Dimitri ran his hands through his own hair in frustration. "I care about you, Rose! I can't just stop." he shouted.

Rose stepped aside and opened the door. "It'll fade."

Dimitri's eyes shone with unshed tears. He walked towards the door, ready to leave, but turned back. "You still look beautiful, Roza. So beautiful it hurts." he murmured, before turning around and walking away fast, so she wouldn't see the tears running down his face.

* * *

 **I'm not entirely sure where this story is going, so we'll find out together! If you have any ideas or requests or anything, please let me know in a review! As always, please check out the rest of my fics, and thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it/have any feedback or anything, let me know in a review.**


	2. Mentor

After Dimitri's unexpected visit to Rose's room, they didn't see each other much. Rose continued with her duties, staying focused when she was working, and empty when she was alone. Even Lissa couldn't get her to return to her old self, and Rose withdrew into herself further and further, until one day, Christian had had enough and dragged her to dinner.

And she had to admit, she was glad he did. All of her closest friends were there, and she realised she may have been neglecting them, despite understanding she needed space. Eddie squeezed her hand underneath the table whenever she went quiet, and many efforts were made to include her in the conversation without forcing her to be sociable. She was stunned by the silent but strong support from her friends, and regretted not reaching out to them sooner.

At the end of the night, before hugging everyone individually, extra tight, she walked to her room, with much happier thoughts than normal. She even smiled to herself, remembering Eddie's ridiculous story of finding a trail of training dummy body parts the other day. She unlocked her door, ready for what would hopefully be a good night's sleep. She refused to let the loneliness consume her, and went to sleep feeling loved and grateful for her group of friends that were more like family to her.

* * *

Rose woke up to the sound of her alarm beeping, and she sat bolt upright. It had been a while since she'd slept through her alarm, normally waking up hours before it from her nightmares. She smiled again and rushed to get ready for her busy day of hard work. She hoped to herself the positivity would stay in her day. On an impulse, she decided to wear her already growing hair down.

On her way to the headquarters, she bumped into Eddie. She said a chirpy, "Good morning!" to him, and smiled the first genuine smile he'd seen in a while.

"You're chirpy today. What's the special occasion?" he asked, nudging her as they walked side by side.

She laughed and said, "Oh, just my amazing friends. I'm a lucky girl."

"Rose? Complimenting us? Oh, I must be dreaming." Eddie gasped, dramatically clutching his heart.

Rose laughed again, playfully pushing him and told him to hush. By the time they had to split up, Rose was feeling lighter still, missing the feeling of the playful banter they usually shared, and vowed to herself to make it a common occurrence. As other guardians passed them, they nodded their greetings, all busy with their own tasks. Rose split off at a corridor inside with Eddie, making plans to meet him for a quick lunch.

Rose reached Hans' door to his office and knocked once before entering. She stopped short when she saw who the other occupant of the small room was, his frame towering over Hans' desk.

She slipped on an impassive expression and addressed Hans directly. "I got your message about needing to see me. What's up?" she said, without a glance in Dimitri's direction.

"Hathaway." Hans greeted. "As you know, people are still unsure about Belikov's... situation. Quite frankly, it's a waste of a good guardian and we need people to get on board with reinstating his status as soon as we can. The quicker it's done, the quicker we can put this mess behind us."

"Sorry, Hans, but I don't understand what this has to do with me."

"In order to make Belikov here look and be more approachable, we're going to integrate him into normal life at the Court as much as we can. We'll start him off with guarding duties, and work our way up from there." Seeing Rose was about to interrupt again, he held up one finger and continued. "That's where you come in, Rose. Sending him on his own would be too much, and no one else will volunteer to partner with him. So, I want you to be with him on these shifts. A mentor to act in a socially acceptable way, if you will."

Rose sputtered, "You want me to be his mentor?"

Hans smiled. "The irony is not lost on me, but yes, I do."

Dimitri looked grim, and said to Rose, "Believe me, there's no other way. I asked."

Rose looked at him for the first time since entering the room. "I have no doubt you asked." She turned back to Hans and said, "Yes, but with one condition." Hans raised his eyebrows in question. She looked Dimitri in the eyes and continued, "I don't want any contact outside of our allocated shifts. I'll work with him and I'll make him look good to the worried people, but that's it."

Hans cleared his throat, sensing the palpable tension between the two. "Yes, well, I only care about what goes on in my time. Anything before or after is up to you both. So, will you do it?"

Rose nodded without looking at Dimitri. "When do I start?" she asked Hans.

Hans replied with the answer of next week and printed out a timetable for both of them, before dismissing them both. Rose walked out without a backward glance, and headed towards the diner where her and Eddie were due to meet soon.

* * *

The time spent waiting for Eddie started off slow, and only got slower as the ramifications of what Rose had agreed to sunk in. She was facing the idea of seeing him almost every day, for hours on end. She didn't know how she would hold her hatred for him in, knowing if she showed it, she'd never be able to make him look completely stable for the public. Everything about him annoyed her, from his stiff posture to his stupid duster. Things which she once adored had become despicable to her, making her unable to even look at him for too long, let alone be in his presence.

She was idly wondering whether it was worse for him, having to see the woman he fell out of love with every day, when a tap on her shoulder made her turn around. It was Eddie, with a stressed looking Lissa in tow. They both took a seat opposite her and ordered food before starting conversation. Lissa breached the topic first.

"Dimitri told me what Hans is making you do." she said.

"Liss, come on. He's not making me do it. I could've said no." an exasperated Rose replied.

"Then why'd you say yes? Why'd you agree when all it's going to do is hurt you?" Lissa said heatedly, uncharacteristically angry at her best friend's obvious pain.

"Because Lissa. I need to get used to seeing him everyday, and hearing him talking and hearing his laughter with his friends. But most of all, I need to get used to him, as a different person. He's not my Dimitri anymore, and he never will be. The sooner I get that into my stupid head, the easier it'll be for all of us."

Lissa's anger drained out of her, replaced by an intense sadness that consumed her small frame. "I don't want you to go back to the way you were." she said in a quiet voice. "You were just getting back to normal, and I don't want this to set you back." Lissa looked up with tears in her eyes.

Eddie, silent throughout this exchange, spoke up. "She has us, Lissa. She'll be okay."

Rose smiled at Eddie, silently thanking him for his comfort. "He's right. I'll be fine. Besides, maybe it'll do me some good. Make me more patient, or whatever." she said, with an eye roll that made them both smile. "Now, let's eat. I'm starving!"

* * *

The day passed without event, and Rose walked back to her room, lost in thought. Eventually, she wandered into the court's gardens, full of vitality and bursting with such a variety of flowers she was overwhelmed by different colours. Finding a secluded bench, she sat down with a heavy sigh, finally feeling the stress of the day settling on her.

On one hand, she knew what she was doing would help Dimitri take the first steps in getting his status back, which, in turn, meant he could get into a routine and some normality, something which she knew he must be craving more than anything.

On the other hand, she wondered if he deserved the help and time she would be giving to him every day, and doubted that he would ever reciprocate the favour. With a bitter laugh, she thought to herself that the biggest favour he could do for her would be to never see her again. But clearly, for now, they'd be seeing a lot of each other, an idea that Rose would have to come to terms with very quickly, with next week fast approaching.

* * *

 **Thank you guys SO much for all of the lovely reviews; they motivate me to write so much and they're just nice for me to read. If you have any ideas that you want to see in this story, please include that in your review and I'll do my best to incorporate it. Thanks again for reading, and remember to review/fav/alert if you're liking it so far!**


	3. Wrong Time, Wrong Place

Rose sunk heavily into the plastic chair, wincing as her sore muscles screamed at her. It had been a week since she'd found out about being Dimitri's mentor, and she still wasn't any closer in coming to terms with it. Every time she tried to put some serious thought into how it would make her feel, she'd remember a very important task that just could _not_ wait, or fall asleep. This had put her into a foul mood, which she couldn't seem to shake herself of.

She ordered a coffee and waited for it to come. The diner wasn't very busy, having just had the lunch rush, which is why Rose had gone at that time. She needed some time to herself, in a public place where she could force herself to confront it. When her drink arrived, she decided to relocate to a seat in the corner, hidden from anyone who might think to join her.

Rose wearily planned out their first meeting together, and how she should behave. She wondered whether it would be better to be genuine, or remain aloof and distant. Being genuine about her feelings had the possibility to alienate him, but being too distant would mean that he might not respond in the most rewarding way. There was also the issue of exactly how she was meant to make him look approachable and friendly, seeing as he was known for his professional and somewhat icy demeanour even before turning. Public outings would obviously be necessary, but anything too informal would make people think that he was lazy or didn't want to protect them. With a sigh at the sheer amount of things to think about, Rose was getting ready to stand up and go back to her room when she heard the bell above the door tinkle, signifying someone coming into the diner.

Her instincts told her to stay still and duck, and when the voices came floating to her, she understood why. Lissa and Dimitri's voices were low, but strained, and Rose knew them both well enough to know that they were in an argument.

"-told you, I'm not doing it!" snapped Dimitri, presumably in answer to Lissa.

Lissa sounded just as frustrated. "But I don't understand! Why don't you at least try? I know she misses you."

Dimitri's voice went cold, and he replied, "No. I'm not putting her through that."

With a start, Rose realised they were talking about her, and leaned closer to hear better. Lissa's reply was instant. "Dimitri, please. You have to stop blaming yourself for something that isn't your fault. It's natural for emotions to feel overwhelming or different after what you went through. Normal, even."

Dimitri laughed bleakly. "Nothing about this situation is normal. I won't speak to her and that's that."

Rose blinked away the tears forming in her eyes and stood up. Both turned towards the movement, with both being surprised to see her standing there, a look of ice on her features.

"Rose!" Lissa said, too loud. "What, what are you doing here?" She turned to Dimitri guiltily. "We were just..."

"I heard what you were doing, Lissa." Rose replied, her voice devoid of emotion. She pushed past them both, careful to avoid contact with Dimitri, and walked out of the door fast, so they couldn't see the betraying tears that were threatening to spill over.

* * *

"I can't believe she heard that." Lissa groaned, putting her head in her hands. "She's going to hate me! She's never going to speak to me again. I'm going to lose my best friend."

Dimitri sighed, wanting to offer comfort, but knowing how hurt she would be. "She could never stop being your friend. You know that. She'll just be upset for a while, but you'll fix it."

"Will I?" Lissa asked glumly, attacking the ordered pasty with her fork, appetite suddenly lost.

"Hey," Dimitri said weakly, "Now we both have to make it up to her."

Lissa stared at Dimitri with an indignant expression, and her stabbed her cake once again, harder than before.

* * *

Rose made it to her room without anyone seeing her, and composed herself even until after her door was safely shut behind her. The tears were gone, replaced by a steady stream of anger at the two people she trusted more than anyone in the world talking about her behind her back. The sting of Dimitri's renewed rejection added insult to injury, and she felt embarrassed that Lissa knew just how much Dimitri didn't want her anymore. Rose found the whole situation embarrassing, and knew that if it was mentioned again, she'd lose it.

She couldn't believe how casually they were talking about ruining her life, once again. If Dimitri tried to start talking to her now, she would never forgive either him or Lissa, for encouraging it. She needed time to heal, time away from him, and if she never spoke to him again it would be too soon. Underneath the layers of anger were raw hurt, yes, but she was in no place to deal with that, and it was far too late for him to attempt to make amends for it. Rose scoffed as she remembered the fateful words, "Love fades. Mine has."

She thought to herself, _well, maybe you're not the only one, Comrade._

* * *

As the morning of Rose and Dimitri's first meeting dawned, Rose found herself getting more and more nervous, but also angry at the prospect of having to talk to him as if everything were normal. While she knew that the entire aim of these sessions were to make people less wary of him, she couldn't help but be wary herself, although for very different reasons. As she waited in the allocated meeting spot, she suddenly found herself wishing that he wouldn't turn up. That way, she would be in the clear with Hans, but wouldn't have to put herself through this.

However, in true Dimitri style, he was there 15 minutes early, and upon seeing Rose, came to an awkward stop where she was standing.

Dimitri nodded at Rose, unsure of what to make of this surly creature standing before him. She calmly nodded back, and murmured a quick greeting, with a reminder to herself to be civil. They set off towards the town centre, not entirely sure of their end goal.

Dimitri broke the tense silence. "What will we be doing today?"

Rose cleared her throat before speaking. "I thought we'd just take a walk around the grounds today. Get people used to seeing you up and about before doing anything else. That okay?"

"Yes, yes, of course. Good thinking."

Rose brushed away the compliment with an annoyed huff, continuing the walk in silence. They were half way around their first lap of the grounds when Rose could bottle it up no longer. "Nice chat with Lissa yesterday, was it? Great topic."

Dimitri let out a breath he was holding. "And, there it is. I was waiting for it. 20 minutes must be the longest you've gone without speaking before." Rose ignored his weak attempt at joking and pierced him with her eyes, demanding an answer without saying a single word. "Yes, it was... lucrative."

Rose snorted and muttered under her breath, no doubt an expletive. "I heard what you said, so I'm not surprised it was so damn enlightening for you." she said in an ugly tone, full of sarcasm and anger.

Dimitri stopped walking, causing Rose to halt too. He gently sighed, pain in his eyes and reached for an unruly strand of hair of Rose's that was blowing in the sudden wind. Before his hand could reach it, she stepped back swiftly, out of his reach. "What do you think you're doing?" Rose asked. Her mind was racing with thoughts of anger and sadness and memories in which he'd done that countless times before.

Dimitri looked surprised. "I, I don't know - I'm sorry."

Rose shook her head, and said in a low voice, "I think we're done for today." Without another word, she walked away in the opposite direction, leaving Dimitri to stand there alone in the cold, brisk wind.

* * *

 **As always, thank you so much for reading! I am surprised at how many reads this has got, but as ever, very grateful! Please continue to read and review/fave/alert. I'll try to be updating as soon as I can, so they should be starting to come faster. In the meantime, feel free to go on my profile and check out my other stories. Don't forget to drop a review if you liked this chapter/what you want to see happen next. Remember, I haven't got anything major planned for this story yet, so I'll be taking any ideas (and crediting you of course!) Hope you all enjoyed this chapter; update coming soon!**


	4. Lockdown

Rose was in a deep sleep, when a piercing alarm sounded, shrill and demanding. Instantly alert, she jumped up and reached for her stake under her pillow, and quickly checked in with Lissa, to check if she was safe.

Lissa was in her own room with Christian, sitting up bleary eyed having heard the alarm too. Christian was pulling on trousers, ready to leave the relative safety of their room to see what was causing it. Rose mentally cursed at his stupidity, and sent a quick text to Lissa telling her to stay where they were. She saw Lissa receive the text through her own mind, and quickly pulled back without waiting to see if she listened. Rose hoped that Christian would convince her to stay, and it seemed more likely now that she had let her know that everything was fine.

Armed with the knowledge that Lissa was as safe as she could be, especially with guardians most likely outside her door, Rose quickly pulled on a coat and opened her door to the corridor, in which the alarm was even louder. Despite never hearing it before, she knew that this couldn't be an ordinary fire alarm. It was too insistent, almost as if it was designed to keep people in their rooms where it would be muffled.

Rose crept down the corridor, her eyes squinting at the flashing lights that were placed every few metres. She was unsure of the exact nature of the threat, but knew it must be serious if it was being heard all over Court. Seeing no one on the way, she jogged the distance to the guardian headquarter's, knowing that whatever it was, they would have the most information.

When she reached, she was greeted by an eerie silence, seemingly out of place with the panic-inducing alarm. She had expected a flurry of movement, panicked and furtive. Instead, all usual posts were abandoned, and she knew that all available guardians must be meeting in their biggest conference room. Silently but gingerly, she made her way there, and saw the familiar face of Hans standing at the door, pacing and not sparing Rose a second glance. Rose slipped into a corner of the room and waited until she found someone she knew.

Finding a guardian she knew by face but not name, she quietly inquired, not wanting to disturb any of the busy guardians nearby, "What's going on? Why is that alarm still going?"

He turned to her with a look of recognition, and replied, "Haven't you heard? The whole court's on lockdown. Hans is just about to brief us on what exactly happened, but no one is to come in or out."

Rose's response was cut off by a loud call for attention from Hans. He began, "I'll keep this short, as we will all be very busy from now. The alarm was raised by a local moroi. It seems as if they stumbled upon some badly injured royals, who are in hospital at the moment. Once they received the necessary aid, they were able to inform us that many others had been taken. At the moment, our best estimate is at least a group of twenty, with a mixture of royals and non royals alike. They couldn't tell us by whom, but obviously, this is a very serious matter. Serious enough for the queen to decide to put the whole place on lockdown. Therefore, we will be following the routine lockdown procedures. Guardians will be in place to ensure that no one leaves without express permission from me or the Queen. If I find anyone has left without my knowledge, there will be hell to pay. In the meantime, we're going to need some volunteers to do some overtime shifts. Everyone will be scared until we sort this out, and familiar faces around will comfort the public. I know we're asking a lot of you, but an event of such a scale, especially in the safety of the court, will have a lot of people shaken up."

Hans paused, and let this information sink in. Rose piped up. "Do we know who was taken yet?"

He frowned deeply. "It appears the beaten moroi we found were unable to tell us. The information we got from them was... inconclusive."

"What does that mean?" Rose asked.

"Well," he replied, "it seems that they've been compelled to not remember."

* * *

Soon after Hans' debrief, he organised guardians into teams to search the grounds, a task designed to put the public at ease, despite it being unlikely for them to find anything. Rose didn't stay for long after that, and left as the guardians dispersed to go and find Lissa. She knew where her room was, and she hoped that she would be allowed to see her. Quickly checking through the bond that she was still there, she hurried her way towards her, knowing she would be eager to find out what was going on.

As she reached the room, she nodded at the other guardians, who stepped aside to let her in, and knocked at the door. It opened immediately, followed by a whirlwind of hair, as Lissa threw herself into Rose's arms. Rose returned the hug, and walked inside and closed the door behind her.

"Where were you?" asked Lissa. "I was so worried! You texted over an hour ago and then didn't reply, and I didn't know what was going on and anything could've happened to you and-".

"Shhhhh." Rose cut her off mid sentence. "I'm fine. I was at headquarters to try and find out what was going on."

They moved towards her bed, and sat down together, Rose rubbing soothing circles into Lissa's clenched hands. Christian was standing nearby, looking just as worried, but not wanting to break the best friends up to give Rose a hug himself. She gave him a calming smile, and silently thanked him for no doubt keeping Lissa from going out to look for her herself. "What happened, Rose?" Christian asked.

"Some royals were kidnapped." Lissa gasped, and Rose continued. "We're not sure who's been taken yet, or who took them, but everyone's working hard to figure it out."

Lissa's eyes filled with sympathetic tears. "Oh god, that's just awful. Was anyone hurt?"

Rose sighed. "Two moroi, badly beaten up. But don't worry, the Court's on lockdown for a while, so we will find these people."

Lissa gave Rose another hug. "I was just so worried. I thought, after you heard me and Dimitri, you were angry at me. And then if anything had happened to you while you hated me! I don't know what I'd do."

Rose smiled at her. "It doesn't matter, Liss. We've got bigger things to worry about now. As soon as I find out who was taken, I'll tell you. We'll get to the bottom of this, together."

Lissa's door flung open, revealing a tall, angry Russian behind it. "Princess? Christian? Are you harmed?"

Lissa shook her head, and Dimitri spotted Rose. His next question was directed at her. "What is happening? They won't tell me anything other than no one is allowed to leave or come in."

Rose quickly explained what she had just told the rest, and Dimitri sunk down on the floor, gracefully folding his legs under him. Rose caught herself wondering how, even with his six foot, lumbering frame, everything he did looked so graceful.

She stood, clearing her throat, before saying, "We should all get some sleep. No doubt it'll be busy tomorrow, and we need to be at our best. We all know that I won't be in a tactful mood if I'm tired, and that's what we're going to need tomorrow. Bye, guys."

Dimitri agreed and stood up. He said goodnight to Lissa and Christian, both of whom were already dozing, and gently closed the door behind him. The alarm had stopped long ago, doing its job of keeping citizens inside and guardians outside, and the night was quiet.

Dimitri and Rose walked in companionable silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Dimitri spoke up. "I should've gone there first. I knew you'd be there, but even if you weren't, I should've gone there to protect them."

"What?"

"To Lissa's room. But I couldn't stop myself from going to yours first. I had to know you were safe."

Rose stopped. "You went to check on me? To my room?"

Dimitri nodded. "It was foolish. I know you can take care of yourself."

"Damn right, I can! Next time, go to them first. They need you more than I do."

Dimitri raised one eyebrow. "More? So to speak, you need me?" It was the kind of logic that Rose often used on him, and he was hoping it would appeal to the many memories they shared of one another.

Rose sighed and rolled her eyes. "Goodnight Dimitri." She turned to walk away, and as she did, bit her lip to stop the small smile on her face from spreading.

* * *

 **Chapter 4 done! This story is so fun to write, more because Rose is such a unique character that you can effectively portray her in any way you like. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Thank you all for the reviews so far - the ones suggesting different plot lines helped me so much, and I love the support I feel from all of you. I felt the need to introduce a plot line in which Rose and Dimitri's relationship can be based around, hence the dramatic chapter. As ever, please please PLEASE review if you enjoyed. Reading reviews makes it all worth it, and I love to know that people are enjoying my writing. Thank you for reading, and hopefully I can update soon!**


	5. Second Best

Soon after the attack, the Court returned to a strained normality with a swiftness that startled Rose. Despite public assurance that the guardians were doing their utmost to help find the Moroi that were kidnapped, to an outsider, it would be difficult to tell. The only obvious and visible change to the Court was the heavy presence of guardians at the gate, monitoring who left and came with even more fervour than before.

Despite this happening, Queen Tatiana was eager, if not determined, to let the day to day runnings of the Court proceed, with her first order of business to call a council meeting, open to the public, about security measures that could be taken in the event of another incident. While the lockdown procedure was effective, many had brought up concerns at the length of time it took to make sure that all were secure, especially those who were unaccompanied by a guardian, such as the non-royal Moroi.

Some of the older royals believed that it was the lack of monitoring of those present that led to the kidnapping, unofficially accusing non-royals of the attacks. Naturally, this did not sit well with them, causing a conflict that Tatiana was keen to end.

Thus, Rose was sitting in a crowded room, directly in front of the long table that held a representative from each of the twelve royal families. Lissa was present at her seat, looking regal and unbothered by the many eyes on her. However, checking in on the bond, Rose could feel her anxiety at what could potentially turn into a clash between the royals and the non-royals. Rose caught her eye and sent her a reassuring smile, and she felt Lissa's feelings calm down, just in time to hear the speaker for the session bang on the table, a crude but effective method of getting everyone's attention.

"This Court session is now in progress." The bearded man's voice rang out clear, echoing and bouncing off the walls. "This session has been called by Her Majesty the Queen Tatiana, to discuss potential preventative methods, in light of the recent attack on Court. The twelve members of the council will speak first, and then discussion will be opened to the floor. We ask that during this time, any responses be made at the end. Any interruptions will be lead to being asked to leave. Thank you."

Rose internally rolled her eyes, knowing that someone was bound to talk over the council, and that it was doubtful that anyone would be able to remove them. She'd probably have a few things to say herself, but would try and restrain it until she had the opportunity. She saw Hans sitting a few seats down from her, and she idly wondered what he thought about the Moroi discussing security measures that ultimately, he would have to implement.

The representative of the Ivashkov family began, and unsurprisingly, they were for the monitoring of all non-royals until the investigation into the kidnapping was over. This caused many people to stir, but, as they were known for their backwards views, no one was surprised in particular.

The next family to speak was the Slezky's, and then the Ozera's, and so on until it was finally Lissa's turn. Up until now, there had only been five families that defended the non-royals, highlighting the stupidity (for it was stupid), and impracticality of the ideas put forth.

Lissa cleared her throat gently, nervousness singing through the bond. Catching Rose's eye and drawing herself up to her full height, she looked out at the audience for a moment, before beginning, her voice ringing out across the silent witnesses.

"Undeniably, the events that happened a few days ago, were unprecedented and tragic." she began. "Two Moroi are recovering from a brutal attack, and the whereabouts of many others are still unknown. Perhaps worse, this happened in our safe haven. Since I was a little girl, I have always thought of the Court as impenetrable, a place in which those with the intention to harm cannot get in." She paused for a long moment. "Clearly, this is not the case."

Rose saw Hans bristle in his seat, and was confused herself. It sounded as if she was condemning the guardians for not doing a good enough job at protecting the public, and looking at the expressions of the many protectors lining the walls of the hall, she could tell that others thought the same.

"However, this does not mean that anyone is to blame, other than the people responsible for these crimes. Not the guardians, and not the non-royal Moroi. We are all a part of the same world, whether Dhampir or Moroi. Observing any particular group of people will only serve to divide us further, something which I'm sure the offender would take pleasure in seeing. Now, more than ever, it is of the utmost importance that we do not turn against one another, but support each other. Report it if you see anything suspicious, no matter who they are. Make sure your neighbours are doing well. One of the only things that will get us through these dark times, is our care and respect for each other. Until we find those responsible, we must pull together, and we must not shift the blame onto one group or another.

It is difficult to say whether or not these attacks could have been prevented. But what I do know, is that the only way to stop a future attack, is working with, rather than against, each other, royals, non-royals and guardians alike." She stopped, letting these words sink in, before continuing. "None of us are expendable, and we should not be treated as such. We are all equal beings. Therefore, I propose that those Moroi who wish to join the guardians in an event of a lockdown, do so, whether this be physically or magically. Thank you."

Lissa sat down, and there was a moment of silence while everyone understood the implications of her words, before shouts broke out, from all sides of the hall. It was deafening, people screaming with others who disagreed, voices getting louder and louder, until the council speaker went red in the face from trying to maintain order.

Tatiana's voice was heard over the din. "Enough!"

Everyone turned to look at her sheepishly, and let her continue. She turned to where Lissa was sitting, looking surprised at the outrage she had caused. "Vasilisa. A very pretty speech, but not quite realistic. How do you propose we send our own children to go and fight against an unforeseen threat?"

Rose stood up, and heard her own voice counter the queen's. "But it's okay when it's our children? What about Dhampirs?"

The queen's eyes narrowed infinitesimally, before turning to Rose. Rose walked towards her, past the horrified looking speaker. "Why do Moroi think that our lives are expendable? Lissa suggested those who wish to fight, it's not like she said we need to enforce a mandatory course. If people want to fight, why should their race determine it?"

The queen took a moment before replying. "Ah, Rose. It is always a pleasure to hear your opinion in matters." she said, her voice dripping in sarcasm. "Tell me, do you know how many Moroi die on an annual basis? From Strigoi attacks alone? 74,000. That is 74,000 lives needlessly wasted, and you agree with Princess Vasilisa's proposal that we should train those willing? You said yourself, guardians begin training from a young age, so how do you know that Moroi would be able to catch up to that level of training? No, sending Moroi off to work with guardians would be a death sentence." The queen looked harrowed and solemn. "74,000 is far too high of a number. We have no desire to make it higher yet."

Rose growled in anger, but felt an hand on her arm, momentarily distracting her. In this distraction, the queen turned to address the public, who were standing, rapt. "I have come to a decision. The current protocols of entering and leaving Court until the culprits are found shall remain, but further patrols shall be added, to be carried out by the guardians already present." She drew herself up, commanding the attention of everybody in the room, including Rose. "This matter shall not be discussed anymore. This session is adjourned, pending no further meetings." Without another word, she stood up from her throne, and exited the room, her full skirts following behind her, with six other guardians joining.

* * *

Rose was pacing in her bedroom, waiting for Lissa to join her. How could Tatiana order the guardians to do even more patrols? Almost everyone she knew was already weary, and adding more work would only make them sloppy and more likely to miss something important.

There simply weren't enough guardians. But then, this only strengthened the support to lower the age decree. Whichever way you looked at it, the only ones losing out seemed to be the dhampirs, as usual. Rose threw a pillow at the floor in frustration, and heard a gentle knock on the door, before opening slowly.

Dimitri was standing on the other side, staring straight at Rose. "May I come in?" he asked.

Rose shrugged and replied, "Make yourself at home." She continued to pace, idly wondering where Lissa had got to, and silently hoped she came soon so she didn't have to be alone with Dimitri for too long.

"Are you okay?" he softly asked, hoping his words would have a soothing effect.

They had the opposite.

"Okay? How could I possibly be okay when that stupid _bitch_ is putting even more strain on the guardians than we already have? Does she not realise that we need rest too? How can she expect us to just keep following her ridiculous orders without any question?" Her voice rose in pitch and volume. "And then she has the sheer audacity to undermine Lissa like that, in front of _everyone_ , just to further how own stupid agenda, which, by the way, God knows what she's planning. How anyone can think she's doing this for anyone but herself is beyond me. She's a royal Moroi alright, through and through, only caring about themselves."

Dimitri frowned. "You know they're not all like that. What about Lissa?"

Rose waved her hand, dismissing him. "She's obviously different. Yeah, they're not all like that, but the important ones usually are. The ones with the power to decide our lives for us. We dedicate out entire existence to them, and they can't even acknowledge the hard work we do? On a daily basis, right from when we start school, we're told they come first. Today has proved just how much they really believe that, whether we like it or not."

"Yes, Rose, they do come first. And of course you will come across some self-entitled royals who abuse that sentiment as much as they can. But the majority of royals do not think that just because we protect them, we are lesser than them. Most go out of their way to accommodate their guardians, knowing how important we are."

Rose whirled, facing Dimitri, eyes blazing. "Why are you defending them? Your own people are being put under such a massive strain, yet all you can talk about is how amazing they are! Why did you even come here?"

Lissa and Christian chose this moment to arrive, looking uncomfortable as they took in the scene before them. "Um, we can come back later if you want?" Christian suggested.

Rose took a deep breath to steady herself, and shook her head. "No, it's fine, just come in."

An awkward silence ensued, with no one knowing how to break it. Finally, Lissa spoke. "I just talked to the Queen. She looked stressed." Rose scoffed, but let her continue. "She said she'll have dinner with me tomorrow, so I'm hoping to speak to her properly, about all of this, then. Hopefully, she'll be willing to listen. I'm sorry I couldn't help more."

Before Rose could reply, Dimitri jumped in. "You did help, Vasilisa. If it weren't for you, no one would dare to talk of putting Moroi and dhampirs together in a protective stance. You may have opened up the floor to one of the most influential topics in our world yet. You should be proud of yourself." His voice was laced with awe, thankfulness clear on his face.

It made Rose sick to see.

She cleared her throat after Lissa's impassioned thank you's, and stood up and stretched. "Well, I'm beat. It's been a long day." The others took the hint and stood up, ready to leave her in peace.

Before leaving, Lissa gave her a hug, and whispered in her ear, "It'll be okay. Thank you for earlier." Rose squeezed her in return, and said her goodbyes at the door.

Only Dimitri and Rose remained in the room, standing three feet apart from each other, both looking at the floor. Dimitri's awestruck impression was still fresh in Rose's mind, and she knew if she said anything now, she'd regret it later.

"Did you need something?" Rose asked, not completely unkindly, but with the distance of a stranger.

Dimitri shook his head in return. "I just wanted you to know, that you did well today. I imagine it isn't easy to go up against the queen in her own courtroom. You were the voice of us all."

Rose nodded in acknowledgement, not trusting her voice.

"Goodnight, Rose." Dimitri said, and walked out, closing the door behind him.

"Goodnight, Comrade." she whispered after he had gone.

When getting ready to sleep, Rose could think only of how empty Dimitri's praise had felt.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you very much for all the amazing reviews/favs/alerts. Seeing them really does make my day.**

 **Please continue to do so to let me know if you liked it, loved it, or hated it!**

 **Also, I was wondering about what everyone thinks of the VA movie. Personally, I liked the comedic value of it, but in comparison with the books, it was weak. Either way, it's a shame that another one probably won't be made. Tell me your thoughts!**

 **Till next time.**


	6. Heartache

**I know, I know. It's been forever, I'm sorry! I've just been busy with life and actually writing this chapter for ages. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

The sun shone and Rose smiled, titling her head back so that the rays warmed her face. The birds were chirping tunelessly and the trees gentle swaying in the wind; she felt more content than she had in months. The grass she was sitting on was plentiful and perfectly manicured; distantly, she registered the sound of a gentle water fountain trickling. Her sense of relaxation heightened, and she smiled happily, her eyes closed against the soft light.

Soon enough, however, she heard a familiar, lilting voice carry towards her. She stubbornly kept her eyes shut in the hope that the voice would leave her alone. The voice called again, this time closer to her, and she opened her eyes, her face screwed up in annoyance.

"Now now, little dhampir. I make this lovely dream for you and you greet me with that face?" He clutched his hand over his chest, feigning pain. "You wound me, truly."

Standing in front of her was Adrian Ivashkov, his brown hair perfectly styled and glinting in the sun. He wore casual slacks and a crisp white shirt and, as ever, looked devilishly handsome. Rose's notice of his attire made her pay attention to her own; she was in a short sundress that showed off her legs, and barefoot.

"I should've known it was too good to be true." she quipped. "God forbid I ever have time to relax. What's up?"

His eyes softened at the sight of her, scrutinising her tired eyes. "Do I need an excuse to see my favourite girl?" She raised her eyebrows, disbelief written on her face. "Okay, fine. I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Did Lissa send you?" Rose asked suspiciously, knowing that her friend wouldn't have been able to do it herself.

He paused, obviously unsure how to proceed. Eventually, he conceded, and his desire not to lie to Rose was higher than his need to keep his promise to Lissa. He replied diplomatically, "She's worried about you. We all are."

Rose rolled her eyes, ignoring the pang in her chest. "I'm fine. She's totally overreacting. All I did was get a haircut, for God's sake!"

"Rose, you know it's not just that. She said you've been throwing yourself into work. She never sees you." Adrian said, frowning in concern.

She threw up her hands in frustration. "In case you didn't know, Adrian, there's a kidnapper on the loose! I'm _trying_ to do my job, but everyone seems determined to stop me." Adrian started to speak, but Rose interrupted him. "I'll take a break when I find them. Hell, I'll go on a holiday. But right now, that's my top priority. So you, and everyone else, can just leave me alone!"

She squeezed her eyes shut and mentally forced herself out of the dream before he could reply, waking up with a start. She groaned and rolled over to look at the clock on her bedside table. A quick glance told her it was way too early to be awake, but she knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep now.

She wondered why everyone couldn't just leave her be. _It's not as if they really cared_ , she thought to herself. Ever since seeing Dimitri treat Lissa like the sole reason for his living, she couldn't shake the thought that she was just an extra in their, and others' lives. Rather than their concern being born out of care, she knew it was just pity, or a way to console themselves of their guilty conscience.

 _Well,_ she thought, _screw them._

With a sigh at her intrusive thoughts, she resigned herself to getting ready for another long day, silently hoping that it could pass without any drama.

* * *

Of course, drama seemed to be drawn to Rose Hathaway like a moth to a flame.

As soon as she stepped into the guardian building, she could sense the charged atmosphere in the air, and knew instantly that there had been some sort of development, whether good or bad. She tapped the nearest guardian on the shoulder and asked him what was going on.

The guardian had barely there excitement in his eyes, and replied fast. "They've released one of the kidnapped. They're in the infirmary now, but as soon as they have the all clear, we're going to go talk to them."

His enthusiasm was contagious, and Rose smiled in return before going off to find Hans, wanting to convince him to let her be in the room when they questioned the released.

Before she could reach him, however, she was pulled into Lissa's head and dimly registered surprise when she saw that Lissa, Dimitri and Hans were already there, and had began their interviews with the moroi. She felt anger take over any reason she had, and sprinted to the location they were at.

She barged through the door without knocking, ignoring the startled looks of the guardians lining the walls. All four inhabitants of the room turned to stare at her, as if she had sprouted three heads. Lissa was the first to respond, and she winced at the look on Rose's face, knowing there would be hell to pay for not including her.

"Well, this looks like fun. My invite must've got lost in the post." Rose said cheerily, getting comfortable in the spare seat on the other side of Hans. She looked at the moroi, who was shaken but otherwise unharmed, and extended her hand. "Hi, I'm Guardian Hathaway."

The moroi, surprised, uttered a murmured, "Hello."

Hans looked ready to burst, his face red and a vein in his forehead bulging. "Miss Hathaway, I do not know what you think -"

Lissa shook her head. "She's fine. Let's pick up where we left off, shall we?" she said, avoiding looking Rose in the eyes.

The moroi, Melanie, nodded. "I remember being in the dark. And it was cold... so cold. I thought I was going to die there." she sniffed, and Lissa patted her hand sympathetically, urging her to continue. "There were rats on the floor. It was hard, almost like rock?" she shuddered suddenly. "And screams. I could hear screams. Sometimes it would stop straight away, but sometimes it would go on for hours. I thought it'd never stop."

"And did you manage to see anyone who might have been behind this? Any information helps." Hans asked gently.

A tear fell down Melanie's cheek and she shook her head. "I told you, I can't remember. It's like a blank. I remember all the details, but nothing about the person."

Lissa nodded and cleared her throat. "I think that's enough for today. Melanie has obviously been through a very tough time, and needs to rest. If you need anything, please tell me and I will personally make sure that you get it. And if we need you, we'll be sure to let you know. Thank you for enduring out questions; we all know it couldn't have been easy for you."

A guardian lead a shaky Melanie outside, and Lissa collapsed in her chair in a very un-queenly manner. "Well, that was useless."

Dimitri shifted uncomfortably, bringing Rose's attention to him for the first time since being in the room. "Could we safely conclude that she has been compelled?" he asked.

Hans and Lissa nodded their agreement, but something was niggling at Rose's mind. "I disagree." she said, ignoring the shocked look from Dimitri. Lissa nodded for her to continue. "Well, think about it. If you were compelling someone to forget about you, why wouldn't you make them forget all the details about where they were staying too? It just doesn't make sense, especially seeing as the information Melanie gave about her location could be useful."

Hans mulled it over. "So what do you propose is the reason she can't remember her captor?"

Rose chewed her lip, trying to word the idea that was forming in her head. "People block out traumatic events, right? Maybe what Melanie went through was so awful, her brain is blocking her from remembering it to save her from further upset. There's no other explanation as to why she can remember some things so clearly, but others not at all. It's not always evil vampire compulsion, you know." she added wryly.

Lissa was smiling radiantly, and Dimitri looked surprised. "Rose, that's brilliant! If it really is her own mental block, some work with a psychologist will help her recover and get us the information she needs. I never would've thought of that myself."

Rose nodded, a feeling of pride swelling up in her as she took in their praise. However, that happy bubble was soon burst when she saw Dimitri's expression of surprise mingled with anger. This dampened her mood significantly, and she remembered how she got to the room in the first place.

"Well," Rose said scathingly, "it's a good thing I stumbled upon this meeting then. I certainly wasn't going to get called."

"Rose..." Lissa began, unsure of what to say to appease her friend. Hans, sensing the tension, disappeared from the room, leaving only Rose, Lissa and Dimitri.

"I just can't believe it. After all I've done for the investigation, for you, that you wouldn't call me to the most important development. I really thought you had more respect for me than that." Rose replied, her voice flat and devoid of any emotion.

This worried Lissa more than if she was screaming. "It's not that! There was just no time to get you. We wanted to question her as soon as we could, while all the details were clear and fresh in her mind."

"But you had time to bring him?" She said angrily, emotion finally starting to show, feelings of being replaced by both of them bubbling to the surface.

"No!" Lissa cried adamantly. "He was already with me, so he came along for this too."

The idea of Lissa and Dimitri being together for no reason other than to be together made Rose lose the final bit of calm she had been clinging onto, and she stood up and left before she could say something she'd regret.

* * *

She made her way to her room as fast as she could without drawing the attention of others, and sank down into her bed, wondering when it all got so messy, so fast. She couldn't even be around her best friend anymore without it devolving into a fight, and the former love of her life couldn't say one word to her. Even his presence irked her more than she cared to admit, for reasons still unknown.

The worst part was, she was being edged out of both of their lives! After all she'd done, for both of them, they were just throwing her away like a used towel, with no regard for her feelings.

A sob rose up in her, taking her by surprise, and she gave into it, letting them rack her body until there were no tears left. She cried for the friendship she was losing, and the love she had lost. Her feelings of loneliness threatened to overwhelm her, and she had to grip the side of her table to stop it from physically pushing her back. She gripped her head in her hands, willing herself to stop crying, to stop being _weak_.

Eventually, she calmed down and was interrupted by her stomach rumbling. Sighing, she knew she'd have to go down and get some food, but the thought of seeing _anyone_ right now made her want to start crying again.

Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she smoothed back her hair as best she could and wiped her eyes. She knew she looked like shit, but hoped to be quick enough so that no one would see her.

She opened the door to leave, and saw Dimitri standing on the other side, hand raised to knock.

She automatically stepped back, and Dimitri's eyes fell as he took in her appearance. "What do you want, Dimitri?" She said, unable to hide the exhaustion from her voice.

"I came to see if you were okay." He replied.

She laughed bitterly and waved her hand at her face. "Do I look it?"

He frowned and shook his head. "Can I come in?"

Thinking to herself that the day couldn't get any worse, she agreed and closed the door behind them.

Silence reigned, neither wanting to speak first. Without a word, Dimitri came and sat next to her on her bed. As the smell of his aftershave wafted towards her, , she was overcome with memories of them laughing together, training together, being together, _him_.

She felt tears spring up in her eyes again and couldn't hold them back. Dimitri took her face in his hands and murmured in Russian, soothing her. This lasted for minutes on end, and when she was done, he took her in his arms and stroked her hair, trying to relax her. "Oh, Roza. Why didn't you tell anyone? About this, how you're feeling?"

"No one cares. I have...nothing."

He reeled back, as if physically struck. His own eyes were suspiciously misty, and he took her hands in his. "I know you hate me and probably don't want to talk to me, ever. But as long as I am alive, you are never alone. You will always have me, Roza. I hope that, eventually, we can be friends. I care about you more than I should, and that's something that will never fade."

His words were a painful reminder of what he said to her in the church.

Love fades, mine has.

She gulped and stood up. "You should go." He looked confused at the abrupt change in her tone. "Just go! Get out!" She shouted, and he left without a word.

Once again, Rose was alone. She climbed into bed with stinging eyes, and tried not to think about his pained expression and how she may have just ruined any chance of getting back together with Dimitri.

* * *

Dimitri ambled towards the gym, needing to work out some of his frustrations. He was so lost in his own thoughts and regrets about Rose that he almost didn't see the tall dhampir in front of him.

"Eddie. How are you?" Dimitri said amicably, knowing he probably hated him too, because of what he did to Rose.

Eddie nodded warily and replied, "Good. Just on my way to see Rose."

Dimitri looked down in shame at his feet. "That might not be a good idea right now. I just came back and she... maybe needs some time to herself."

"Why? What did you do?" Eddie asked accusingly.

"We just talked about how she was feeling."

Eddie growled in frustration and rubbed his face in anger. "How many times are you going to do this to her, Belikov? Don't you realise that every time you go back, it just hurts her more? You're just giving her false hope! Either get back together with her, or _leave her alone._ I won't see my friend be put through this again, not by you, or anyone. If you keep twisting the knife in, I'll fight you myself, whether you're a God or not." He stormed off in the direction of Rose's room, leaving a confused, hurt and angry Dimitri in his wake.

Was that really what he was doing to Rose? He'd thought he could be helpful to her, but if Eddie was really right, and he suspected he was, he was clearly hurting her more than he intended. Despite what she or anyone else thought, that was the last thing he wanted to do. If he let himself process his feelings for Rose, he knew they'd be more romantic than he was willing to admit. However, he felt undeserving of her, or any semblance of love, and couldn't allow himself to get any closer to Rose than he already was, knowing it would end in heartache for them both.

With renewed resolve to stay away from her, Dimitri set off in the direction of the gym.

* * *

 **Chapter 6 done!**

 **Love me some protective Eddie - just remember that Romitri is endgame, even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment ;) I've got lots more hardships for them planned.**

 **Please, please review; it motivates me to write faster! And thank you for all of the reviews/favs/follows so far - it means so much to me.**


	7. Home

Rose was fed up of feeling sorry for herself.

The constant stinging eyes, the bone aching lethargy, the sinking stomach. But most of all, she was _fed up_ of not being able to laugh and have a good time anymore without reverting to her zombie-like state instantly. She knew she was alive, but what she was doing could hardly be described as living. She was determined to feel something other than melancholy.

Because of this, she found herself in front of her mirror, checking her carefully curled hair and makeup that she had just applied. It was a Friday night, the perfect time for her to let her hair down, physically and metaphorically, and let loose. Her eyes were ringed with dark eyeliner, smoky and seductive, and she painstakingly traced her lips in a dark red colour, matching her dress. She smiled at herself, content with her appearance and rooted around for some heels that would match.

She came across her phone in her search, and checked the screen to see a message from Lissa.

 _Hey Rose! Movie night at mine?_

Rose huffed and tried to ignore the pang of guilt that went through her. They still hadn't made amends from the interrogation, with Rose angry at Lissa for not telling her and Lissa angry at Rose for not understanding. This left them in a stalemate, albeit one that Lissa was clearly trying to end. Well, Rose thought to herself, not today. She threw her phone on the bed without a further reply and finally found her shoes.

With a final look around her room, she decided she was ready.

Money? Check.  
Purse with lipstick in? Check.  
Flask of vodka? Check, with a backup, just in case.

She sauntered out, ready for a good night in a club somewhere far away from her troubles.

* * *

Ten minutes in, and she had already broken the law.

Well, technically, all she had done was borrowed Lissa's car without permission, but Rose knew she wouldn't mind, and probably wouldn't even notice. She hoped. She was on her way to the nearest human nightclub, fancying a crowd who didn't know her for her wild reputation. The nearest was still twenty miles away and she was tapping her fingers against the steering wheel, eager for the night to get started.

Soon enough, she was pulling into the empty parking lot, and after flashing her ID to the bouncer after getting an appreciative once over, she entered the familiar atmosphere of drunk people and sticky floors. She loved it.

She found an empty seat at the bar and ordered a vodka and diet coke from the friendly looking bartender. "I haven't seen you around here before. Passing by?" he inquired with an open smile.

"Something like that." she replied with a smile of her own. He reminded her of Eddie, and she instantly felt relaxed in his presence.

"Well," he said, setting her drink down, "it's nice to have you here. Have a great night and if there's anything you need, you know where to find me."

She smiled once again and nodded her assent. With her drink in hand, she made her way over to the dance floor, scouting out the room as she did. Even off duty, she was a Guardian at heart and would always be on the lookout for any potential danger. Satisfied, she wormed her way through the gyrating bodies and found a space in which she could dance herself. She downed the drink and set the glass on a nearby table and just as a new song started playing, started to move.

Rose had always loved dancing, especially in a party environment, and this was no different. She swung her hips in time with the beat, and soon, she noticed many glancing at her with gazes full of lust. Noticing this, she smirked and redoubled her efforts, lifting her arms and running them back down her own body. She knew the form fitting dress she was wearing was tight in all the right places and that she was probably driving a few men crazy now. She assessed those watching her and her eyes rested on a tall, bulky man with brown hair.

She beckoned him forward and his lips parted in shock as his eyes roamed her body. He stepped towards her, grabbing her hips and dancing with her to the fast paced music. Rose threw her head back, thoroughly enjoying herself and this harmless human. She didn't even know his name, but she didn't want to. She didn't want an emotional connection or even a conversation. She just wanted to dance.

Her head began to feel woozy, and she knew it would be the vodka kicking in. Before she could overthink it, she grabbed another drink from the boy she was dancing with, all the while keeping her hips moving in time with his own. He had a martini, and she poked the olive with the cocktail stick and slowly sucked on it, maintaining eye contact with him throughout. He visibly reacted, grabbing her harder and whispering in her ear, "God. You are so fucking incredible."

She ran her tongue over it before grinning and popping it into her mouth, quickly following it with the alcohol. His voice was raspy and gruff, straining to be heard over the music. His brown hair was reflecting the flashing lights, turning blue and red and back again. After a few more minutes of dancing, she excused herself to go to the ladies' room. He looked disappointed, but nodded and made his way to the bar.

As always in the bathrooms of clubs, they were full of women touching up their makeup, checking their hair and the occasional crier. Rose walked towards the mirror, seeing her makeup was still intact, and checked her purse for her phone. Pulling it out, she saw three missed calls from Lissa, five from Eddie and one from Dimitri, who had left her a message.

She sighed angrily, but put it to her ear to listen nonetheless. His normally gentle voice, now uncharacteristically strained, was pleading. "Rose! Please pick up the phone. We've all been trying to reach you. Where are you? Please be safe." There was a long silence, and he continued. "Please, just. Call me when you get this."

She was still buzzed from the alcohol, and rolled her eyes at their dramatics. She was an adult with her own life, and just because they couldn't reach her for a few hours they thought she was dead? She couldn't even have fun without them dragging her back into their messes. She caught the eye of a nearby girl and smiled weakly. "Boy trouble?" the pretty girl asked sympathetically.

Rose laughed bitterly. "You could say that."

She patted her shoulder. "Don't worry, you can do better. Girl, dump his ass!" she shrieked the last sentence, evidently inebriated herself, but was met with squeals of agreement from most of the girls in the small bathroom.

Despite it all, Rose giggled at the solidarity they were showing, and as she was walking out, she shouted, "Thanks ladies!" and heard multiple 'awws' in return. Girls were great.

* * *

By the time Rose had made her way out of the bathroom, her mystery dance partner was nowhere to be found, so she ordered another drink from the bartender and downed it there. He eyed her state but made no comment other than a worried smile. Once again, she found she could lose herself in the rhythm of the music, and with the aid of the now copious amounts of alcohol in her system, she truly let go of her inhibitions, not caring who was there or who saw her.

Until the familiar smell of aftershave hit her. She cursed and shook her head, hoping it couldn't be him.

"Rose." she felt a hand gripping her arm. "What on earth are you doing?"

She sighed and spun around to face Christian. "Christian. I am clearly dancing. Would you like to join me?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You're drunk."

She retaliated with a grimace of her own. "No, you are."

Christian pressed his lips together and looked towards the ceiling as if asking a higher power for strength. Sober Rose was bad enough, and he wasn't sure he wanted to experience drunk Rose. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Not enough!" she replied merrily, swaying slightly on her feet. "Is that your way of asking if I want more? 'Cause if it is, I definitely do. Want more. Drink."

Christian muttered something under his breath and grabbed her arm once again. "Right, that's it. I'm getting you out of here."

" _No!_ " Rose howled, her screams lost in the deep, thumping bass of the music. "Christian, I don't want to." she whined. "I was just starting to have fun."

"More like give yourself alcohol poisoning. Come on, we're going home."

Rose pouted but relented to his grip, and he proceeded to walk her towards the exit, supporting most of her weight. "What is _home_ anyway?" she said with derision. "They always say home is where the heart is. Well I say, that is shit!" she proclaimed, getting a few indulgent looks from the bouncers who recognised her as wasted. "What if I don't have a heart? What if it's been broken, Christian? Does that mean that I don't have a home either?"

Christian frowned. "Of course you have a home, Rose. With Lissa, with me. Eddie, Adrian."

Rose snorted ungracefully. "Oh please. You're all moving on and replacing me with Belikov anyway. Soon enough it'll be like, _oh yeah, I remember Rose, she was the one that kept punching everyone and couldn't follow the rules_. And now, here I am. Heartless _and_ homeless. Don't you just wish you were me?" Rose giggled at the pitiful turn her life had taken recently.

Christian was troubled at Rose's words, and cajoled her. "You don't really believe that, do you? How could we ever replace you?"

Rose smiled faintly; "You've already started."

"No, seriously. There's no one else on this planet that is as annoying as you. And that alone makes you irreplaceable." Christian joked, trying to lift her mood.

She brightened, feeling accomplished that at least one of her friends still liked her for who she was. Without further protest, she clambered into the open door of the car Christian had brought, and sunk into the seat heavily. Before Christian even had a chance to walk around to the driver's seat, she was fast asleep.

* * *

Despite being mostly asleep for the drive home, she could hear snatches of conversation that she couldn't quite get her addled brain to connect.

Something she dimly registered as Christian's voice filled the car. "Yeah, she is out. She'll probably need to sleep this off for a day. I'm just glad I found her when I did, otherwise she'd definitely be in a ditch somewhere." There was a pause as the person on the other end of the phone replied, and Christian made affirmative sounds. "We're here now. I think it would be best for you to talk to her tomorrow. I know she's drunk but she seemed... vulnerable." he said, surprisingly protective over his sleeping friend. "I don't know, just wait until tomorrow, okay? She's not in a state to talk to anyone right now anyway. I'll see you in a bit."

Rose drifted away again, letting the consistent sounds of the tyres on tarmac lull her into a relaxed sleep.

* * *

She surfaced again when Christian was tucking her into her bed like a child. She still had on her dress, but Christian had removed her shoes for her. Rose groaned, her throat as dry as a desert, and he helpfully handed her a glass of water. She gulped it down greedily, making Christian chuckle.

She coughed a few times before trying to speak. "Thank you."

He shook his head and smirked. "We've all been there. It's no big deal."

Rose grabbed his hand unexpectedly, and he looked up, startled. "No, seriously. Thank you. I haven't been a good friend to you, or anyone, recently, and it's good to know you still have my back. I appreciate it more than you know."

He smiled fondly and squeezed her hand. "What are friends for?" He smoothed her hair back from her face.

"Goodnight, Christian." she said, and rolled over, ready for a good nights sleep. She heard Christian leave, gently pulling the door shut behind him after leaving some more water next to her bedside. She heard the faint murmurings of a conversation, between Christian and whom she assumed to be Dimitri. Even now, she could always tell when he was close by.

It seemed as if they were arguing about something, but from the sounds, Christian had relented, and she heard her door gingerly open. She squeezed her eyes shut and pretended to be asleep.

For a long while, he simply stood at her side, stroking her hair, both listening to their breathing in synchronisation without the other knowing. Just as Rose was about to turn to face him, he moved his hand, and she felt the gentle pressure of his lips for a fleeting second until they, and him, were gone, leaving her feeling cold.

Tomorrow, she knew she'd have a storm of questions and demands from everyone to face. But for now, she let herself enjoy that small kiss from Dimitri and the minuscule, tiny part of her heart that seems to have mended.

* * *

 **It's been so long!**

 **Thank you all for the amazing reviews and favs/follows. It warms my heart to know people are liking something I create!**

 **Hopefully, I'll update soon, but no promises. But until then, keep these reviews coming. Very interested to know what you think of my portrayal of a drunk Rose (I hope I did it justice for you all!)**


	8. A New Ending

Rose woke up with a killer headache.

She rolled over and groaned, grasping for the water on her bedside table. _Why did I drink so much?_ she thought to herself, rinsing her mouth with water to get rid of the dead animal taste of a hangover. The clock beside her only read 3pm, the middle of the vampiric night and she greedily drank the rest of the water, looking forward to an extra few hours of sleep before she had to be up.

She rolled over in her bed and snuggled into her covers, feeling fragile and sick. Despite this, she was soon drifting into a sleeping state, vaguely asking herself what on _earth_ had happened last night.

* * *

The next time she woke up, she found herself looking directly into a pair of concerned eyes, and she sprang up from her lying position, immediately tense, all traces of sleep gone.

Lissa did not look happy.

The two friends remained in silence as the seconds grew longer, before Rose finally broke the silence. 'Sorry I stole your car.' she said meekly, feeling a little bit remorseful and a more than a little bit scared of Lissa.

'What?' Lissa asked disbelievingly. 'I didn't even know you took my car. How did yo- ugh, never mind.' She stopped mid sentence, sensing some Rose logic coming her way. 'Did you at least have fun?' she asked with a small smile.

'I think so.' Rose replied. 'A lot of the night is a blur.'

'How much did you have to drink?'

'Well,' started Rose, 'I took a flask of straight vodka with me and finished that. Then I got a couple of drinks at the bar, from some guys. I think the bartender bought me one too?'

Lissa shook her head in part amusement, part annoyance. 'Why didn't you ask me to come? You know I would've been up for it! It's been ages since it's just been us two alone.'

Something in Rose's face darkened. 'Maybe because I wanted a night to forget about your Russian shadow, not see him in a club when I'm trying to have fun.'

Lissa frowned and opened her mouth to speak, but promptly shut it. 'You're right. I'm sorry. I know I've been neglecting you recently, and that's the last thing I want to do to my best friend.'

Rose exhaled deeply, letting her words wash over her. She found it was always almost impossible to stay angry at Lissa, especially when she was being so honest. 'Maybe I overreacted to the whole interrogation thing. Maybe. I'm sorry I didn't invite you yesterday. Can I make it up to you?'

Lissa smiled, recognising her oldest friend trying to make amends. 'That would be lovely.' Lissa said earnestly. 'I'm not free today, but tomorrow, I'm all yours!'

'What are you up to today?' Rose asked curiously. She was normally privy to all of Lissa's plans and whereabouts, so not knowing gave her a strange feeling.

Lissa sighed deeply. 'More interrogations. If you're feeling up to it, I'd love for you to come?' she said hopefully.

Rose jumped at the opportunity to both spend time with her friend and be more involved in the current investigation. They arranged a time and place to meet at, and Lissa left, leaving Rose alone with her peace at making up with Lissa, and a hangover that didn't seem to be getting any better.

* * *

Entering the hospital room where Melanie, one of the released hostages, was briefly staying, Rose saw Lissa, Dimitri and Christian gathered around her bed, clearly waiting for Rose before starting any questioning. The thought made Rose feel lighter, and she approached the group with a genuine smile.

'What's up, gang?' she said, addressing them all, careful not to pick Dimitri out in her greeting.

Christian answered. 'Not much; we were just waiting for you. You look better than you looked last night.' he said with a smirk.

'It's only up from there, to be honest. I can't really remember much of it, just that the club was called Luna.' Rose replied, suppressing a laugh at Lissa's stern look at them both.

Before Christian had a chance to reply, Melanie, who had been watching this interaction with very little interest, suddenly screamed. A low pitched, keening sound was coming from the back of her throat, and she was getting louder and louder with each breath she struggled to take. Those around her immediately jumped into action, with Lissa moving to soothe her, Rose holding her thrashing limbs as best she could and Dimitri and Christian running off to find a doctor.

Lissa's calming words had little impact on the now crazed woman sitting in front of them. No matter what they tried to do, they couldn't get through to her, and it was easy to see she was becoming more and more desperate. Lissa, already close to her, had to duck her head to avoid her flailing arm from hitting her squarely in the face. Seeing this, Rose instantly moved to shove Lissa away from the bed, but Lissa held firm.

Finally managing to get a grip on her, Rose wondered aloud where the doctors could be. Upon hearing this, Melanie visibly calmed. Lissa took this as an invitation to slowly approach her to keep her in this placid state.

'It's okay Melanie. You're safe here. You're back at court. Doctors are here with you. We will protect you. You're safe here.' Lissa assured, putting on a gentle tone that seemed to relax Melanie enough to still her limbs. Her eyes were still wide with panic, but at least, for now, she was less anxious. Lissa continued these platitudes until two doctors rushed in, with Christian and Dimitri hot on their heels.

The lead doctor took in the scene before her and turned to Rose. 'What on earth happened?' she asked incredulously.

Rose shrugged helplessly. 'I don't know! We were just talking, not even about anything to do with the kidnapping, and she just started freaking out and screaming. It was completely random! I held her down so she didn't hurt herself or anyone else.'

The doctor frowned deeply and seemed annoyed at their intrusion. 'I'm sorry, you have to leave.' She held up her hands to stop the incoming protests from the others. 'I can't have you upsetting my patient when she is clearly not ready to be having any difficult conversations. You will speak to her as and when I give the all clear to do so. We don't know the extent of what Melanie suffered, and until then, I want all of you to stay away from her.' She addressed the last part to Rose, adding on, 'And you can tell Hans Croft that message from me, too.'

She shooed them out unceremoniously, wanting to attend to her now unnervingly still patient as soon as possible.

Christian, Rose, Dimitri and Lissa congregated outside, all wearing equal looks of shock and confusion on their faces. Christian was the first to break the silence. 'What the _hell_ was that?'

Lissa looked concerned and guilty. 'I don't know. I couldn't even calm her. I was trying to use Spirit, but it was like there was a block there. Something wasn't letting me through. Maybe I wasn't trying hard enough.'

Rose instantly dismissed this. 'Don't blame yourself Lissa. She's been through so much, there could be a hundred reasons why you couldn't reach her.'

Lissa shifted her weight on her feet. 'This sounds stupid, but... when I tried to make her calm down using Spirit, it felt like I was being watched. Not by Melanie, but by something inside her.'

She was met with blank stares, each trying to process the information. Dimitri spoke for the first time since this ordeal had started. 'We need to tell Hans. And anyone else you think might know what is going on.'

Rose nodded, and added, 'Sooner rather than later. I don't want to panic anyone, but that doesn't sound good. If someone _is_ 'inside' Melanie, they know everything that is going on in Court. You need to tell someone, Liss.'

Lissa squeezed her eyes shut, but took a deep breath and rolled her shoulders back. She looked at Christian imploringly. 'Would you come with me, please? I don't think I can face their questions alone.'

Christian looked mildly surprised but agreed, and they both set off towards the guardian headquarters to inform Hans of what had happened, leaving Rose and Dimitri alone.

* * *

They walked towards their rooms in silence that wasn't entirely uncomfortable, both lost in their own thoughts about what had just transpired.

'That was quick thinking on your part. Holding her down to protect Lissa.' Dimitri said approvingly.

Rose shrugged. 'Melanie clearly wasn't well and I know she would never purposely hit anyone. I wanted to save her from that guilt.'

Dimitri looked surprised, and then shook his head in wonder. 'I keep forgetting.'

'Forgetting what?' Rose asked, looking up in confusion.

Dimitri's voice was as soft and rich as butter, his tone fond. 'How much you want to save people. It is... beautiful.'

Rose stopped walking, with Dimitri following suit. 'What do you mean?' she said quietly.

Dimitri sighed, visibly expelling all the breath from his body. There was the tiniest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and he looked directly into Rose's eyes. 'Your whole life, you've been protecting others. Lissa, Mason, Eddie, any of your friends. I thought that was a result of your loyalty to your friends, but... you'd do this for a stranger? You're trying to spare a stranger from guilt?' He reached out a hand towards her cropped hair, twirling a lock around his finger. 'Time and time again, I underestimate your kindness.'

Rose didn't dare to breathe, instead focusing on the warmth emanating from his hand that was now placed on her cheek. She was acutely aware of how close they were standing, and how unguarded Dimitri's eyes were. For the first time after turning and being restored, Dimitri was letting her see his true thoughts of her.

She thought she saw love in his eyes, but couldn't give herself that hope.

Rose gently leaned into his hand, closing her eyes, relishing the contact with him she had so sorely missed. 'Thank you.' she whispered softly, eyes still shut. She didn't want to break the spell of the moment, but knew she had to.

With a squeeze of his hand and a final parting wave in his direction, she headed off in the opposite direction. She was desperately trying to ignore the feelings of affection that came rushing back, but eventually let it overwhelm her, still feeling the imprint of his hand on her face.

She had to admit to herself that it felt good.

* * *

 **I'm sorry! I just had to end it on a sweet note. I told you they're endgame ;)**

 **Here it is! The (very eagerly, going by the reviews) awaited chapter 8!**

 **I want to thank you all for sticking by me and STILL checking my story for updates, even when I've been particularly inactive recently. Your support is invaluable to me. The fact that people are still finding my story, reading it and reviewing it even though it has been months since I last updated is so humbling - thank you to all that read and reviewed.**

 **Please do leave another review if you liked this chapter - I can't always respond but I do always read them and smile!**


End file.
